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If any part of the home contract is violated, consequences should be given. Consequences can be assigned by the parent or decided jointly by the parent and the Teen ( if the Teen is willing to discuss it in a responsible manner ). Consequences are most effective if they are consistent with the violation. Minor violations can result in minor consequences but Major Violations should result in Major Consequences otherwise the Contract will not be taken seriously and will have very little effectiveness.
Consequences as a rule are more effective if they are immediate. Sometimes this is not possible or appropriate ( For example: in public places or situations ) but immediate consequences are generally recommended. For serious infractions of the Home Contract, immediate consequences may not be major enough and follow up consequences may need to be added in addition to any immediate consequences.
Ultimate Consequences result when the Teen is totally unwilling to follow the Home Contract or complete the Consequences assigned by the parents.
Some Suggestions for Immediate, Follow up, or Ultimate Consequences are as follows:
IMMEDIATE CONSEQUENCES : 
Essays Special Work Projects Study Hours Work Hours Grounded Fines Loss of Special Privileges
Sitting on a chair
Room Restriction
Read Review
Tape Review
Time Out
FOLLOW UP CONSEQUENCES:
Special Work Projects
Study Hours
Work Hours
Grounded
Fines
Loss of Special Privileges
ULTIMATE CONSEQUENCES:
Boarding School
Military School
Treatment Program
Descriptions:
Immediate Consequences:
Immediate Consequences may be used for minor Home Contract Infractions or as a prelude to other more severe consequences. For example: If a Teen does something that merits “being grounded” an immediate consequence may be to first write an essay, sit on a chair, or be on room restriction. These forms of “ Time Out “ , provide not only an immediate consequence but also allows yourself and the Teen an opportunity to cool down before you discuss the more severe consequences and conditions of ‘being grounded” .
Essays:
Teen is placed at an assigned area to write an essay without any interruptions or distractions ( phone, music, television, computer, friends, reading material, etc. ). Teen should not leave the assigned area except with permission for bathroom needs. Essay should include:
What did I do wrong??
What could I have done differently??
What can I learn from this situation???
What is my commitment in the future in regards to this???
Essays can be assigned in certain lengths such as a certain numbers of words ( 100 – 1000 + ) that need to be written or the Teen can be assigned a certain amount of time that they need to stay at the assigned area to complete the essay.
Once the essay or time is completed, it is recommended that the parent and Teen review the content of the essay. If it is satisfactory the essay is complete. If not, the Teen should redo all or part of the essay as determined by the parent.
Sitting on a chair:
Sitting on a chair allows the Teen to calm down and reflect on their behaviors or actions.
Teen should sit silently on a pre-specified chair without any other interruptions or distractions ( phone, music, television, computer, friends, reading material, etc. ). Teen should not leave the assigned area except with permission for bathroom needs. Teen should sit for a specified amount of time. The amount of time should be based upon the infraction but generally be between ten minutes to an hour. There should not be anything for the Teen to play with that will distract them.
When the time is up it is recommended that the parent discuss with the Teen why they sat on the chair, what they learned, how they will act differently in the future, etc.
Room Restriction
Room Restriction is similar to sitting on a chair whereas the Teen is being taken out of the mindset they are in and are able to cool down and reflect upon their actions. Typically a room restriction would be for the Teen to go to their room for a period of time to regain their composure and learn self-discipline and balance. When assigning room restriction you may want to set certain ground rules such as no talking on the phone, playing videogames, TV, listening to music and etc. If any ground rules are too hard to monitor writing an essay or sitting on a chair away from any distractions may be a better option. Room Restriction is a time for them to be alone and to be able to reflect and learn from their mistakes. Time assigned to a room should be anywhere from 15 minutes to over an hour depending on the Teen’s emotional state and the rule violation.
Read Review
Read Review is another immediate consequence that many parents find useful. In Read Review a Teen sits down at an assigned place and stays there ( except for approved bathroom, sleep, or meal breaks ) until they have read something assigned by the parents. After completing the reading assignment the Teen should be prepared to review with the parent what they read, a synopsis of the main points as they understood them, as well as any thoughts or comments about the reading. Once they have done this the parent usually will also discuss with the Teen why they chose that particular article or book chapter as well the home contract violation or any other pertinent things that the parent feels should be discussed. Typical Reading Material that parents may want to assign are certain chapters from religious, self improvement, or inspirational books or selected articles from newspapers and magazines. The Teen should also be assigned a minimum time they have to read the assigned or approved reading material. The length of time to read the material depends on the rule infraction, the teen’s reading level, and the size of material to read. This can be a half an hour or even several hours. This is a good option when the parents want to use an immediate consequence that has a little longer and meaningful consequence. This is an excellent choice as most teenagers do not read enough especially good material, as well as the fact that reading allows the Teen to focus on something other than their frustrations or anger allowing them to cool down.
Tape Review
Tape Review is just like Read Review but the Teen is assigned audio tapes to listen to by motivational and inspirational people such as Zig Ziggler, Tony Robins, Steven Covey, Earl Nightengale and etc. In Tape Review the Teen sits down at an assigned place with a tape player and stays there ( except for approved bathroom, sleep, or meal breaks ) until they have listen to one or more tapes assigned by the parents. After listening to the tapes the Teen should be prepared to review with the parent what they listened to, a synopsis of the main points as they understood them, as well as any thoughts or comments about the tapes. Once they have done this the parent usually will also discuss with the Teen any additional insights about the tape as well any discussion about the particular home contract violation or any other pertinent items that the parent feels should be discussed. The length of time the Teen is assigned to listen to the tapes depends on the rule infraction and the size and number of tapes the parents want to assign. This can be a half an hour or even several hours. This is a good option when the parents want to use an immediate consequence that has a little longer and meaningful consequence. This is an excellent choice as most teenagers do not get a chance to be familiar with this type of good listening material, as well as the fact that listening to tapes allows the Teen to focus on something other than their frustrations or anger allowing them to cool down.
Time Out
Time Out like sitting on a chair is usually utilized as an effective de-escalation technique to prevent the Teen (and in some instances the parent) from getting “out of control” . It is less formal than sitting on a chair or room restriction but should be considered a useful tool in teaching a Teen self –discipline. Time out usually is used during the start of an “Argument” or when the Teen violates a minor rule.
Time out consist of having the Teen immediately stop what they are doing and take a breather for a few minutes. An example of using time out is when a Teen is complaining about an issue and they continue to manipulate and to press the issue. Then the parent should say something like “Time Out! we will not discuss this further” (If it is something they want and you have already told them no) Or “Time Out! It is important that we talk about this in a cool calm and collected way therefore, let’s take a time out and discuss this later.”
(If the two of you are having dialog there is a disagreement and you want to prevent an “argument”) By saying, “let’s take a time out” you create a cooperative point them out as well as show that you are still willing to discuss the situation with them in a few minutes but not in an argumentative manner.
Follow up Consequences:
For serious infractions of the Home Contract, immediate consequences may not be major enough and follow up consequences may need to be added in order to make the consequences and deterrents more impacting and long lasting.
Grounded
Grounded means the Teen is grounded or restricted from certain activities for a specified period of time. The length of the grounding and the type of grounding would be determined by the parents depending on the severity Home Contract Violation. The grounding could be for a few days, a week, or several weeks. It could also be until the Teen completes a work project, work hours, or study hours ( see work project, work hours, study hours below ).
There is also all types of groundings such as no friends, no phone calls, no privileges to leave the home and restrictions on home privileges such as TV, Cell Phone, Video Games, Computer or Internet. Depending on the Home Contract Violation the parent can choose to restrict all of these types privileges or just one such as video games, driving, or cell phone. The parents can also choose to restrict any combination of these areas. The Outline below can be used by parents in determining which areas they want restricted during the grounding. This would again be determined by the severity of the Home Contract Violation and the particular needs of the Home and Teen. When setting up the terms of the grounding you may want to use the following outline.
Grounding Outline
Terms and Conditions
Term: How long with Teen be grounded ________________
Conditions:
Out of the Home activities:
( Check the one in each category that best fits the restriction needed for this grounding )
___ No out of the Home activities except with the parents ( Home School )
___ No out of the home activities except for School and with the parents
___ No out of the home activities except for School, parents, work
___ Not applicable, Not a condition of this particular grounding
___ No out of Home activities except for School, parents, approved School Activities
___ No out of Home activities except School, parents, work, approved School Activities
Approved School Activities ( sports, etc. ) or other Conditions________________
_________________________________________________________________
Friends Visiting the Home:
___ No friends may visit whatsoever
___ Not applicable, Not a condition of this particular grounding
___ Only approved Friends at times individually approved by the parents
Conditions _____________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
Phone:
___ No phone use unless specifically approved on individual case basis by parents
___ Not applicable, Not a condition of this particular grounding
___ No Phone use except under certain conditions
Conditions _____________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
Cell Phone:
___ Cell Phone taken away
___ Not applicable, Not a condition of this particular grounding
___ No Cell Phone use except under certain conditions
Conditions _____________________________________________________
Driving:
___ No driving privileges
___ Not applicable, Not a condition of this particular grounding
___ No driving except for School
___ No driving except for School, No friends may ride along
___ No driving except for School & work
___ No driving except for School & work, No friends may ride along
___ No driving except for School, approved School Activities
___ No driving except for School, approved School Activities, No Friends
___ No driving except School, work, approved School Activities
___ No driving except School, work, approved School Activities, No Friends
Approved School Activities ( sports, etc. ) or other Conditions________________
_________________________________________________________________
Transportation ( riding in a car with friends ):
___ No riding with friends
___ Not applicable, Not a condition of this particular grounding
___ No riding with friends except for School
___ No riding with friends for School and work
___ No riding with friends except for School and approved School Activities
___ No riding with friends except School, work, approved School Activities
Approved School Activities or other Conditons__________________________
_________________________________________________________________
May not ride with the following friends ______________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
Video Games:
___ No Video Game privileges
___ Not applicable, Not a condition of this particular grounding
___ Only at approved times or after certain chores or responsibilities are completed
Approved times or conditions ______________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
Computer and Internet:
___ No Computer or Internet privileges
___ No internet privileges, computer is approved for homework or other such needs
___ Not applicable, Not a condition of this particular grounding
___ Only at approved times or after certain chores or responsibilities are completed
Conditions _____________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
TV
___ No TV privileges
___ Not applicable, Not a condition of this particular grounding
___ Only at approved times or after certain chores or responsibilities are completed
Conditions _____________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
Music
___ Loss of Music Privileges
___ Not applicable, Not a condition of this particular grounding
___ Only at approved times or after certain chores or responsibilities are completed
Conditions _____________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
Any other Conditions:
Special Work Projects
Special work projects are work projects in addition to normal chores that the Teen needs to complete. Until the special work project is completed the student is grounded ( see Grounded description above ). Depending upon the severity of the rule infraction a work project may be as simple as mowing a lawn or weeding a flowerbed. A work project may also include more substantial projects like painting a fence or deep cleaning a house. A work project may be something that can be accomplished within a few hours to a longer work project that requires a few hours a week for a period of a couple of months. Special work projects work best if the project when it is finished will benefit others beside the Teen. Examples include anything that benefits the entire family, friends, neighbors, individuals in need etc. As with any project, communication of what the parent expects to have accomplished as well as in what time frame and the quality expected should be addressed before the work project is started. Many parents’ feel that it is best to lay out the details and their expectations in writing to the Teen to prevent confusion. It is also important to teach the Teen accountability and not let them off with an unfinished or unsatisfactory work project. In the real world unsatisfactory work or incomplete assignments result in unsatisfactory results and as such, now is an excellent time to teach this lesson to your Teen while the consequences are really quite insignificant and have no long-term bearing on their life.
Study hour(s)
like read review help the Teen learn and better themselves academically as well as teach them control and self-discipline. Study hours can become part of follow through consequences for many infractions but is often used as a remedy for unsatisfactory academic performance. Often the brightest Teenren have some of the worst grades in school as academic grades are based in addition to tests by participation and completed assignments. Study time is a set period of time during each day that a Teen has reserved exclusively for studying. There should be no distractions and the parent should ensure that the Teen is studying. This teaches the Teen the importance of dedication and time management.
Work hour(s) like study hours(s) is a set period of time usually daily or on the weekends where a Teen is actively engaged in working. The Teen should be instructed sufficiently what work and or chores needs to be accomplished and the parent is to supervise that the Teen is accomplishing these tasks. Some parents may give the Teen a set amount of work hours that must be performed within a specified period of time and allow the Teen to schedule the work themselves. Like work projects the parent should ensure that the Teen’s work is of acceptable quality and the Teen follows through with their work assignments in an appropriate manner.
For a Teen being Grounded is an additional and effective follow up consequence.
When a Teen breaks a rule or behaves in an inappropriate manner the parent may choose to ground them from certain activities for a specified period of time or until certain tasks have been accomplished.
Fines may also be levied on a Teen by the parent as an effective follow up consequence. Fines of money are very effective if a Teen has an allowance, receives money from work projects or an employer. Fines teach the Teen the importance of money and that there actions can adversely affect their wallets.
Loss of Special Privileges is also
For many teens the loss of special privileges seems to be a most effective deterrent to inappropriate behavior.
Special privileges a Teen may lose include: use of automobile/ driving privileges, cell phone, home phone, computer, internet, video games, spending time with all or certain friends, television, etc.
Work on
As with all consequences it is critical that the parent is consistent with the grounding follow through.
For instance if the Teen drives and has an approved after school, church or family activity that the parent is not able to transport the Teen to the grounding for the automobile may be for all driving activities except.
Rewards:
Most of the rewards for following the home contract should be the normal privileges, comforts, and rewards provided at the home. However, if you desire to, you can provide additional incentives such as:
Weekly allowance
Special Privileges or Activities
Special Prizes or Purchases
Some of the most powerful reinforcers are those that don’t cost anything:
Praise, recognition, and acknowledgement
Many Teens expect their parents to provide them with numerous privileges and comforts without any responsibility or accountability on their part. One of the best ways to fix this is through a “Home Contract”. No reasonable businessperson would attempt to do business with another person without first agreeing to the terms, benefits, and expectations in the form of a written contract. Your Teen will be responsible to numerous written rules and/or contracts during the course of their lives: rent, car payments, mortgages, loans, school rules, employee policies, and etc. They will be held accountable to each of these written contracts or policies. There is no better place or way for your Teen to learn to be accountable than to start now through a “ Home Contract”. A “Home Contract” is a written contract or understanding that clearly outlines your expectations of your Teen while they are living in your home and receiving the benefits thereof. Many frustrations and conflicts can be avoided by having this type of clear outline of your expectations. Through the technology of the internet, we can help you form a home contract that is personalized and unique to your Teen and family by clicking the button below:
Work on
As with all consequences it is critical that the parent is consistent with the grounding follow through.
For instance if the Teen drives and has an approved after school, church or family activity that the parent is not able to transport the Teen to the grounding for the automobile may be for all driving activities except.
Rewards:
Most of the rewards for following the home contract should be the normal privileges, comforts, and rewards provided at the home. However, if you desire to, you can provide additional incentives such as:
Weekly allowance
Special Privileges or Activities
Special Prizes or Purchases
Some of the most powerful reinforcers are those that don’t cost anything:
Praise, recognition, and acknowledgement
Many Teens expect their parents to provide them with numerous privileges and comforts without any responsibility or accountability on their part. One of the best ways to fix this is through a “Home Contract”. No reasonable businessperson would attempt to do business with another person without first agreeing to the terms, benefits, and expectations in the form of a written contract. Your Teen will be responsible to numerous written rules and/or contracts during the course of their lives: rent, car payments, mortgages, loans, school rules, employee policies, and etc. They will be held accountable to each of these written contracts or policies. There is no better place or way for your Teen to learn to be accountable than to start now through a “ Home Contract”. A “Home Contract” is a written contract or understanding that clearly outlines your expectations of your Teen while they are living in your home and receiving the benefits thereof. Many frustrations and conflicts can be avoided by having this type of clear outline of your expectations. Through the technology of the internet, we can help you form a home contract that is personalized and unique to your Teen and family by clicking the button below:
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